BAKER’S DOZEN: 13 IRONIC THINGS ABOUT TRUMP’S CURRENT QUAGMIRE:

1. Twitler going silent for 24 hours—cat got your thumbs?

2. Attorney General Jeff Sessions in his study, scrambling to learn the mandatory sentence for treason.

3. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell making the tough call when, finally presented with enough evidence, they call for impeachment. And, by “evidence,” I mean the Orange Albatross slipping below a 20% approval rating.

(This heroism will only last 30 days, in which time they will slay Medicare, and seniors, and poor people in Red States, once and for all. Which makes this ironic point kind of a two-fer).

4. Trump voters realizing they voted for a trust-fund-baby-snowflake in the truest sense of the word—he was never a wall-building populist who would bring back manufacturing jobs. And, like working in reality television, you just can’t wash that off.

5. Democrats crying crocodile tears for James “Nauseous” Comey and his steno pad. Seriously, he was your bogeyman in December.

6. Pharasitic Evangelicals blaming everyone but Trump for his complete depravity and godlessness—which anyone who is not an Evangelical could’ve seen a prostitute-pissing, tax cheating, p***y-grabbing mile away.

7. A gleeful, yet ever-rudderless Democratic Party will suddenly find false reason to hoist sails and set a course for the rocks called 2020.

8. Sean Hannity. Just Sean Hannity.

9. Like Lucy with a football, Nancy Pelosi takes the reins again in 2018—sardonically setting up forgetful Democrats for another bone-crunching, Charlie Brown-style back landing.

10. Every woman D-Trump ever harassed or fondled sitting in the gallery at his impeachment hearing, wearing pantsuits and Monica Lewinsky T-shirts.

11. Red-blooded, flag-waving Americans giving a full-throated defense of befriending Russian mobsters and Vladimir Putin. But, I’m being redundant.

12. Hillary Clinton gets to say, “I told you so.”

13. Bernie Sanders gets to say, “No, I told you so.”